Life As A Caregiver

The life of a caregiver is a marathon, not a sprint. You'll need to pace yourself. Maybe you found yourself in this role unexpectedly as you're caring for someone following a stroke, accident, or other medical event. Maybe you had an idea it was coming and you're now caring for an aging parent. Or perhaps you're the parent of a child with exceptional needs and you've never known another way. This is a tricky journey. Especially at the start, it can be isolating, overwhelming, and exhausting. While those around you are celebrating the end of the work day or the arrival of the weekend, perhaps you are feeling drained just thinking about the work you'll face at home. I hope you'll find the tips below helpful at some point in your journey. You're not alone. You are stronger than you think and you're going to figure it out!

Get Help - Caregivers need help. If that's not something that comes easily for you, it may be a skill you'll need to practice. Consider which things require YOU to do them and which things could really be done by anyone. YOU cannot do it all.

• If others know you are playing the role of a caregiver, they may offer to help.

• If no one is offering, ask for help and then get used to delegating.

• Keep a list of errands and small tasks that need doing so you'll be ready with an actual answer when someone asks how they can help.

• Ensure legal paperwork is in order

• Look into local or virtual support groups. You'd be surprised how many exist for various diagnoses. Surprising strength can come from connecting with others sharing a similar journey.

Self Care - We've all heard that we cannot pour from an empty cup. Taking care of someone is hard work and you'll quickly burn out if you're continually depleted. It can feel near impossible to find opportunities to recharge yourself and recenter your mindset, but it's so important. Because these opportunities are unlikely to present themselves. You'll have to create them.

• If this is a new or unexpected role for you, give yourself grace and time to adjust.

• If you haven't told someone about this part of your life, pick a few close friends or relatives to turn to for support. At some point, you'll be glad to have them.

• Wake up 10-15 minutes before your household to guarantee a quiet start to your day.

• Pre-cook ingredients or a few meals when you have the chance.

• Designate a night for takeout. You'll look forward to the break.

• Establish routines whenever possible to lighten your mental load.

• Take care of your physical self.

• Move your body everyday, even 10 minutes of stretching will make a difference.

• Write a note outlining your frustrations toward your role as a caregiver. Then rip it up.

• Write down 5 things you love about the person you're caring for. Read it everyday.

• Listen to a favorite podcast or music while you do tasks you don't prefer.

• Try hard not to sweat the small stuff.

• Take it 1 day at a time. If that's overwhelming, take it 1 hour or 1 minute at a time.

Ways To Help A Caregiver - If you know someone who is a caregiver and you're not sure how to help them, here are a few ideas:

• Be patient and non-judgmental with them

• Make a grocery store run

• Have dinner delivered from a local restaurant

• Organize a Meal Train so the community can get involved

• Drop off a return to the post office

• Change a few light bulbs

• Fold a load of laundry (or 4)

• Provide child or elder care for an hour to give the caregiver a break

• Put notes in your calendar to remind you to check in on them periodically

• Take someone's dog for a walk

• Ask them how they are doing and be a safe space for them to vent

• Give them a hug!